Home > Survivors stories. Katie, 33
I have no doubt in my mind without the phone call I made to IDAS that day and the subsequent help and support I received I would not be here writing this.

"After years of abusive relationships/friendships my self-esteem was virtually non-existent.  This I believe is how the father of my son (my last relationship) was able to conduct his reign of terror slowly but surely leaving me wondering if it was all in my head.  One day some months back after a succession of incidents I telephoned IDAS."

"Sheepishly I picked up the telephone explaining I didn't know 'if I was in the right place' and 'did not want to waste anyone's time' within minutes it was established that I was telephoning EXACTLY the right place.  A close family member had pointed out that all was not well, but I covered things up, was isolated from others and really given the closeness of the family member who did notice, I was too embarrassed to divulge the extent of the behaviour I had been enduring for a long time."

"There are no words to describe what this man did to me, how dark and sinister the whole episode was.  This man very nearly killed me without laying a finger on me (although he had made steps to test the boundaries of physical assault when it appeared he couldn't quite break me with all manner of other abuse).  My children suffered terribly during this period of time for many reasons which are almost too painful to recall.  I have no doubt in my mind without the phone call I made to IDAS that day and the subsequent help and support I received I would not be here writing this and my children would not grow up with their loving, caring and now once again happy/outgoing mother."

"It has been a long road and I am still travelling but the one to one and group work I have done with IDAS has not just helped regarding this particularly dangerous relationship but with a pattern of very serious abuse and toxic relationships/friendships that go years back.  Nothing had ever made me see/understand in black and white what is acceptable/unacceptable.  Of course we all have different standards but some behaviour is clearly NOT acceptable however, years of abuse had distorted my comprehension of any reasonable boundaries and given the level and danger of the man I found myself with had it not been for IDAS the consequence I believe would have been fatal eventually."

"The group work I took part in was amazingly helpful.  You begin to learn/understand at a pace/level that is comfortable given the subject matter.  It helps that all focus is not on you....you can speak/share only if you want to, there is no pressure and it was made perfectly acceptable to leave the room/take time out if the subject matter became too difficult.  I have made strong bonds with my fellow group members and we are in touch regularly supporting one another and most importantly having fun!"

"Had it not been for the marvellous work IDAS do I can guarantee I would have followed the same pattern and been convinced that yes, it was all in my head, I was psychologically disturbed/mentally unwell, apologised profusely yet again for being me and the whole cycle would begin again but there is only so much a person can take and this cycle nearly took my life before and had every chance of doing so."

"Thanks to IDAS I have started to work to change core beliefs that saw me vulnerable and an easy target.  I have no intention of jumping into a new relationship as I find myself so busy with huge enthusiasm for my children, family, friends, work and life itself but I do firmly believe the risk of me entering into or more importantly staying in an abusive relationship or indeed any friendship has been substantially lowered if not eradicated completely due to IDAS."

"I can never thank the girls enough for their support and hard work especially Tina in York."

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