It's Because He Loves Me
I’d seen the posters at the Doctor’s He gave me this ‘a broken nose’ and a box of chocolates!...
Domestic Violence... Get Help!... 0845...
Easy to recognise?
Easy to deal with?
The poster did not show the process behind it
Hook
No one understands me like you do!
I was lost till I met you!
I want you all to myself!
I love you so much I can’t imagine life without you?
Talk to me?
I want to know all about you?
And so I talked on and on
as we cuddled up, on the phone and often into the night
Tired?
Yes but we are getting to know each other
Can’t wait until we are together all the time.
Line
Your friends don’t like me? They are still trying to separate us!
I am jealous of those men friends you still see
How would you like it if I saw my old girlfriends??
Your family still treat you like a little girl.
You need to be more independent!
Stand on your own two feet!
Don’t keep running after them they are just using you!
He brought up things I had told him, they seem twisted now.
You are too kind hearted! After all You have got me now!
Spend more time with me darling.
I love you so much!!! I feel so on my own!!
Sorry we can’t go to your friend’s party tonight my asthma is bad.
I think it is your cats??
Thank you darling you are so understanding I am so sorry to spoil things for you.
I’ll make it up to you I promise...
Sink her
Now they were alone. She had given up her home, her friends, visits to her family never seemed to work out, they blamed her and still thought the world of him?? What is going on?
Even her moggies! All gone. All of them gone.
They had moved to the coast where the sea air would improve his health and later he could get a job?
A new life. A fresh start. Be on their own. To build their relationship.
Togetherness at last so why then this sinking feeling? What was it?
GUILT? SHAME? BLAME?
She recognised it as FEAR that it was FEAR
that explained the cold clammy feeling in the middle of the back.
The frozen feet at night?....Oh The NIGHTS!
The nights of endless sex. His ardour had turned to nightmare.
This way! That way! Every which way and still no satisfaction.
The comments! The complaints. Yells of anguish and frustration. The language, vile swearing and now crude suggestions. Fantasy fast becoming reality Oh God No not that
Keep net
Two wary years had passed, the settling down period?
Why was it all going wrong?
How to make it better?
She had tried every suggestion he had made
She had dieted, gone to keep fit, till he’d laughed at her outfit and she’d lost that friend.
He’d laughed at most things she did said or prepared
Even compliments seemed backhanded!
He controlled what she wore, where she went and what she did.
He listened to her phone calls and timed her trips to the shops.
Read her mail monitored her mobile and searched her bag and pockets.
It is because I love you so much. I need you.
You are my little slit arse! He told her tenderly.
I have given up everything for you! I moved here because YOU wanted to.
I can’t bare the thought of you with someone else.
I would kill myself if you left!!!!!
And I’d make sure no one else would look at you!!!!
She remembered the shock wave that had rattled through her when she first heard this.
Since then he had outlined 5 horrible ways she would die at his hands. Reinforcing it by running over that dog.
She remembered the look on his face as they sped away leaving the creature twitching on the road.
Her stomach knotted in terror or was it the baby kicking?
What a time to start a family. Mum was delighted and quite understood when He told her “She is delicate, oversensitive.
Dramatises you know. Hormones!”
She needs quiet. She must look after herself and the babe.
Oh mum this is when I need you the most. Please come and make me feel
Better. Please come and take me home!
Take me home Please Mum! Please Mum!
He sneered “You act like a little girl! Grow up! I don’t want my son to grow up sissy like you.
But little by little he had got them on his side.
As he said “who is going to believe you?”
The scene was set.
She was loosing he marbles!
Not him but her!
But who was he?
Different personas kept popping in and out of focus.
Who was he today? This morning or tonight?
Lover, tyrant, bully, clever pant, little boy lost.
She let go of the little garment her mum had knitted. Those kind and familiar hands that had comforted and protected her when she was little.
What was going on? What should I do?
This was not how it was meant to be surely?
That telephone number? Someone to listen? Help? Advise?
He had hit her many times, little slaps at first then harder and more vicious. But there were no bruises that showed. No broken bones.
Who would believe her?
What to do?
What can I do?
She roused her weary body and her spinning mind.
I know! I can sort it!
I will try harder! I can make it work if only I try a bit harder. It will work out I am sure?
I am sure?
Am I sure?
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