Everyone deserves to be with someone who shows them kindness and respect. If the person you are with does not do this or is abusive in other ways it may be best to end the relationship.
If you are in doubt about ending the relationship try asking yourself the following questions.

• Does this relationship make me unhappy more often than I am happy?
• Do I feel controlled?
• Can I still go out with my own friends?
• Does my boyfriend / girlfriend threaten that they will hurt themselves if I don't do as they ask?
• Am I enjoying life as much as I used to?
• Does my boyfriend / girlfriend ever frighten me?

If you answer yes to even one of the questions it might be time to choose to finish the relationship. All of us can feel doubtful about ending a relationship particularly if it has been good at some point but once you've made your mind up try to keep focused and tell yourself that things will feel better in the future.

How to go about it
Some people end their relationship face to face and others choose to finish with someone by phone. How you decide to end the relationship is up to you but you should always give some thought to your own safety. If someone has been aggressive with you or has caused you to worry that they might be aggressive maybe think about ending the relationship via phone or in a public place.

Support and help
Get support about how you are feeling - talk to a friend, family member or someone else you trust about how you are thinking. Plan to do something nice after the break up - make sure you have things to fill your time for a few weeks.

Someone's dumped me
If someone ends a relationship with you remember that feeling bad won't last forever and if a person doesn't want to be with you there's no point in trying to force things. Get support from your friends, plan things that are going to distract you and avoid being around the person who's dumped you until you're over things.

If you feel that you might be controlling, get angry too quickly or that you are abusing your girlfriend or boyfriend you can also get help.

If you need advice about abusive relationships, check out our links and support section.

• Abuse can happen to anyone. Studies show it happens in straight and gay relationships, to people from all backgrounds and can happen to men and women.
• Abuse is about one person trying to have power and control over another person and can lead to physical assaults, emotional abuse, financial control and sexual violence. Many relationships that start as unhealthy relationships go on to be abusive.
• 1 in 5 boys and 1 in 10 girls think that abuse or violence against women is acceptable.
• Up to 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will experience some form of abuse or violence in a relationship. Over 100 women a year are murdered by an abusive partner.
• Abuse is never acceptable. It can wreck your relationship, lead to depression, ruin your job and later in life it can affect the chances of you having a good bond with your children.