• Keep in mind your own personal safety and that of the victim. If you are working with a perpetrator, ensure that the victim has access to their own specialist support worker.
• Always have an awareness that perpetrators will usually attempt to justify their behaviour and that many perpetrators will initially claim to be victims of domestic abuse themselves.
• Challenge the perpetrator wherever possible and when safe to do so. Perpetrators of domestic abuse have to accept that they are responsible for the abuse before they can change.
• Remind the perpetrator that they can change their behaviour but only if they are motivated to change.
• Find out about programmes and other appropriate interventions that are taking place in your area.
• Get advice from a specialist agency. The Respect phoneline 0845 122 8609 can deal with your queries. For more information visit their web-site - www.changeweb.org.uk/respect.htm
• Bear in mind the safety of children living in the household.
• Accept that some perpetrators will not change their behaviour. In these cases, the victim needs a high level of support and may need space in a refuge.

The Loving without abuse document provides useful information for perpetrators who wish to change their behaviour.